I expect this to actually be a series of posts on the subject as it’s something I’m passionate about (protecting kids) and something all of us who have a child in our lives must deal with.    Even those of us with our heads stuck in the sand.     Be it txting, social networking sites such as MySpace, Facebook, MMOs (Massive Multiplayer Online Worlds) such as Club Penguin, Webkins or even World of Warcraft, the world our kids live in is much more diverse, exciting and potentially dangerous than we could have ever imagined.

I will hit in future posts specifics tied to kids dealing with various types of media, but thought I’d ask the question to begin with, how as a parent (or adult with a child in your life of any type) you help your kids deal with the media today.   Here’s one way not to help them.

I have two relatives who are mothers, love their kids very much, and will never read this blog.  Why…because they’re so scared of their kids being online they have chosen to “bury their heads in the sand” and forbid their kids (in this case ages 10-13) from engaging in various forms of media.    Rather than getting involved, learning themselves, and monitoring their kids activity they are just not dealing with it.

So…what happens naturally?   Their kids go around the system.    It’s no different than being told at 13 you still can’t see a PG13 movie.   I mean come on… can a parent really believe their 13 year old daughter will not see Twilight if they really want to?    Or that a kid won’t end up with an account on My Space or Facebook?   Computer access is way to easy.

I definitely think parents should set parameters and rules for their kids.   I also believe in terms of Social Media, kids will be partaking like it or not.  For our kids we set several rules early regarding email, My Space, etc.    Things like:

• They may have one email account which we will have the password for.  We may also from time to time monitor this account.   The monitoring part drove my kids crazy, but we also successfully solved some issues before they began.    You have to be your own judge on how privacy vs safety and protection enters into your situation.

• If they have a My Space or Facebook account…yep, we have the password, and they “friend” us.  We also stay involved with our own accounts and they must keep their site “open” to us.

• Any My Space or Facebook account they have (one) must be a “private” account, meaning anyone can’t view their site, only friends they “accept”.

• We check their friend list with them from time to time.  If they can’t tell us who someone is we discuss and delete.  This happened a couple of times and after the initial deletion rarely occured again.

• No “personal” information is posted or used in email addresses, etc.  ie: no full names, where they attend school, where they live, age, etc.    Like it or not, there are scary people out there.  Your kids will be online and it’s your job to help monitor and protect them.

This is by no means a catch-all list, just some of the things we tried to do with our kids.    Did we succeed in protecting them 100%, I doubt it, but I think even they (at least the older two) will admit most of what we did “now” makes sense to them.

Bottom line for me is I believe you have to allow your kids to grow up and help them engage and safely interact in this new social media world.

So…what did I miss?   What are you doing that could help others?

Disclosure of Material Connection: I am a Vice President at Thomas Nelson. From time to time I may blog on or offer a product for giveaway, that my company produces or distributes. Regardless, I only recommend products that I believe my readers will enjoy. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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